Unsent Letter
Dear You,
I don’t even know where to start. As I write this letter, all I can think of is that it’s never gonna be sent to you, yet still, something really strong inside of me urges me to write it.
If you come to think about it, it makes perfect sense.
It’s been more than a decade we saw each other for the last time. I was so young and could never imagine that my life would be like what it is today. I would never imagine I’d be where I am today.
Don’t get me wrong. The most important person in my life wouldn’t be here if we stayed together.
This little and incredible special human being is here because we went our separate ways. However, from time to time, you pop in my head, and I wonder what our life together would’ve looked like. Would we still be together? Would it have worked? So many questions, no plausible answer.
Well, as I said, sometimes you show up, silently, but in devastating ways. I can remember exactly what I was wearing on our last night together. I can remember raising my head a little bit to give our last kiss the following morning before heading to the airport. At that point, I had high hopes we’d meet again.
But last night, something happened. I dreamed of you. It wasn’t the first time. I’m a very nostalgic person. But yesterday, it was different.
Do you know when people talk that they feel like their souls left their bodies while sleeping? That’s exactly what I felt.
If only I could know that you dreamed of me and you felt the same… but it doesn’t matter. I just wanted to share how incredible and inexplicable it was. I could feel your lips, your touch, my heart racing. I could feel my fingers running through your beautiful and soft hair. If there is one thing I am sure of is that my soul was there with you.
I don’t know if I feel bad because I know you and I have now our families. You seem to have a perfect marriage and life, and I would NEVER, EVER be capable or willing to change that and what I am and have.
That’s why I call this an unsent letter. I tried avoiding these thoughts this morning, but now, as I lay in my bed alone and heard our song, I felt all these butterflies and the rushing of the adrenaline. How can it be possible? I ask you again.
On days like these, I think about those crazy stories that old lovers find each other again after decades of being apart and get together. I’m hopelessly romantic. What can I do?
I truly hope we have an amazing life, and I truly hope that someday my daughter can feel all this passion for someone.
You’ll always have a special place inside of me. Always.
